I hope you’re well and enjoying your summer as it begins, the sun slowly working it’s way through the trees and high into it’s blazing heat. I wanted to say a few things to you.
Firstly, thank you. You have no idea how much you’ve improved both my life and my own wellbeing. You’re a beautiful ray of sunshine and I don’t know how I managed going so long without having you in my life, but here you are. I technically haven’t even known you a year, but you’ve brought me more joy and happiness than I’ve had the year previous.
You have loved me selflessly, believed in me fully, brought me up when I was swaying low and pushed me down when I overstepped or play foul. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me honestly and brutally and with more care than I can think possible. I’ve never experienced a relationship like this before, but in a frightening new chapter I made a home with you. A place of circumstance and convenience until a moment I can say with absolute clarity you became my new home.
I have grown tremendously in the past year, I’ve overcame things you’re more than aware of, and you have been there tirelessly through each moment. Of weakness, of doubt, of failure and of sorrow. You were also there when I needed a push, a hug, some wisdom and a night of movies. We’ve danced, drank, fallen, ran and laughed our way to this moment and I want to say that this has been beautiful.
There are many more years of this beauty, but I’m desperate to capture this moment on the tip of my tongue and experience it’s sweetness for days to come. This was my time of freedom, of adulthood and new chapters and we fitted together like a puzzle I didn’t realise I could fit. You have warmed me at 8 am with coffee and sleepy smiles and at 3 am with cous cous and smudged makeup. You have welcomed me every Friday morning and every Monday night. I have shown you a side of me I didn’t know I possessed but I am embracing this side of me fully, with nor fear or quarrels.
This is the real me. I didn’t know she existed until you. I didn’t know she was strong nor knowledgeable or even funny. I didn’t truly understand just how much possibilities I have nor how much I had shunned her to comfort and ‘fit in’ with others. You have set her free and I thank god for you. Not only for setting free the person I truly am but for making mug cakes at 11 pm or singing 80’s songs on rainy evenings in. Of making me laugh freely until I cry and for listening to me like no one has. For showing me a side of you I know no other soul has seen and for growing with me as we embarked on this year together.
You are a piece of my soul now, you always were but I know now how deeply you bleed into my own. You are sparkling blue and yellow, tumbling together and I just want to say THANK YOU.
I miss you more than I knew I would, but I’m excited to once again be reunited in the fall.
To my girls, my glasgow girls, I give you all my love.