Hey whats up hellllooo
It’s been quiet on my slice of the Internet, hasn’t it? While I’ve missed writing (omg SO much) I won’t exactly make an apology. Why?
I’ve taken time a way from creating content at #Predicaments because I’ve felt uninspired, lacklustre and downright OFF. While I’d love to put some blame on Saturn being in retrograde (planets do that and it *can* affect us. Weird right?), I’m happy to say it’s mainly me and my darling brain. But like, some of Saturn’s too.
I don’t think one should ever put content out there when they’re uninspired. It shows up as unnatural, I feel uncomfortable reading a thing I know someone spent writing as they grinded their teeth together, late at night, swearing how the images JUST WON’T CONTRAST RIGHT. We all understand the need to pay bills and put ‘your best food forward’ yet, I’m not doing this to pay bills or build a business. I’m doing this for a joy, a sense of accomplishment, to see my words out there and people deciding if they like it or not. Letting me know they like it… or not.
I LOVED how many of you let me know what you thought of the red dress, those of whom bought it you made my day! It’s so cool to think someone somewhere saw my post and it inspired them to buy the dress. It’s like we’re a little group huddling together, swapping favourite bargain clothes but also chatting away on social issues, how we feel. I adore that people come here for some escapism, like I do with so many blogs.
The time I’ve taken away from the blog was just to get my mindset back to what’s important. I’ve been neglecting stuff I need to sort out and become more organised with my life. You know those lulls of creative lacking? I’m suffering from that more than FOMO over those sunny beach Instagrams.
So I’m writing this to tell you that It’s Ok To Take A Break.
The Internet loves to tell you “treat yourself like you would yourself!” “more self love!” “eat that ice cream girl!” or “do what makes YOU happy, not anyone else!!”
And that’s great, because self care and self love comes in all shapes and sizes, just like we do as human beings. But I don’t like how quickly problems are fought to be solved. Like we’re wasting our time trying to figure out why we’re feeling a certain way, just what is causing it and how can we fix it?
It’s like we can’t have time to ride the wave because everyone else is giving their 5 cents.
Because we have this vast space to connect with any and everyone, we let a lot of people into *our* space without knowing exactly how harmful they can be. For a few months now I’ve been suffering from TMP, also known as Too Much Positivity. That’s when calls for “positivity only plz” start to drown out the “okay but wait a minute” voices. It’s as if we’re holding the tools to become more socially and economically aware, but there are articles on Justin Bieber quitting Instagram (I don’t care? Does anyone?) to inspiring quotes, which are really just some words put in quotations that aren’t really that deep.
It’s all too easy for us to write a funny sarcastic tweet on just how shit 2016 has been, or how Kylie Jenner dropped a bomber on us about -realising things- but the political makeup of the world is changing dramatically (I still hate Brexit and Boris) and we’ve lost so many to shootings in these 8 months alone. I sometimes can’t sleep because I’m so worried about the future of me, of us as a race
and then I’m bombarded with tweets or Instagrams of happy quotes. Finding those who express their sadness, their fears to be swept under a mountain of gooey ‘positivity’ when really, stuff can be shit. And stuff can’t be solved in a pint of ice cream or a hot bath. I still wake up in a world where so much happens and people won’t listen to others because “Positivity Only please!!”I could be ‘caller out’ as bitter, when really I might be raining on someone’s parade for an hour.
I understand in a time of your life when things feel dark, demanding positivity as important is something as important as your mental wellbeing. However, I cannot let myself drown in Positivity just because an Instagram account posts Motivational Quotes! every three hours. Just like you can lose yourself in darkness, you can submerge yourself too deeply in positivity. I got to a point I feared making mistakes, because I wouldn’t be doing the ‘right’ thing. The ‘good’ thing. I’d worry about expressing emotion and couldn’t listen to ‘negativity’ because if I did it would highlight how much I was ‘failing’ when that’s complete rubbish. Not being constantly ON doesn’t make one a failure. It means we’ve got to slow down and take a step back. Breaks are important. We have to remember to take them.
Too Much Positivity can leave you feeling like a “Professional Cynic”. If there was a job as Professor of cynicism, I would have it. These past few weeks have contested to that; sometimes seeing all of the Encouraging, Positive and #GIRLBOSS quotes wouldn’t do anything to me but scoff, transforming into Tracey Beaker with my mind in a constant state of “BOG OFF!” when presented with Etsy quotes.
Sometimes you just need a break to let yourself know it’s okay. It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to slow down for a while. It’s okay to be frustrated, even if being told it’s okay makes you want to scream. And it’s okay to be confused, because being confused isn’t being a failure, it’s just being confused. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s not always you, because there’s 7.48 billion people on the planet and the Universe can’t focus on you all the time. Sometimes it’s a bad day. Feel it. Accept it. Then just, let it go.
I’m happy to be back writing, I hope you’re happy to see me on your homepage.
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