L O U
~Predicaments Of Lou~
A place to indulge in low-brow pop culture, ease into high-brow think pieces, devour recommendations of The New Age of news and sigh over fine tailoring. Welcome to #Predicaments. A corner of the Internet for all things high, low, in-between journalism with rays of girl-bossery and millennial contemplations.
The New Age has begun.
Category Archives: Predicaments
“I don’t always write the way I feel. Sometimes they are just residual feelings that show up again due to lack of closure.”
My hurt is my hurt. And I can use it when and where I see fit.
Please know that while I write this – I am not angry. Not at all. I’m simply passionate about this, because this quote on residue feelings and not writing in the now is what I’ve been wanting to say for so long. I fucking love that quote. I felt something shift inside me when I read it, because it’s it. Everything I have been wanting to say. To explain how I write.
Anne Lamott has a famous quote on writing, saying
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”
“I don’t always write the way I feel. Sometimes they are just residual feelings that show up again due to lack of closure.”
Own your hurt. It’s yours and yours alone. No one gets to tell you how to talk about it, no one gets to be the person who gives you permission to talk about your hurt. It’s yours. ONLY yours.
Hey whats up hellllooo
It’s been quiet on my slice of the Internet, hasn’t it? While I’ve missed writing (omg SO much) I won’t exactly make an apology. Why?
I’ve taken time a way from creating content at #Predicaments because I’ve felt uninspired, lacklustre and downright OFF. While I’d love to put some blame on Saturn being in retrograde (planets do that and it *can* affect us. Weird right?), I’m happy to say it’s mainly me and my darling brain. But like, some of Saturn’s too.
I don’t think one should ever put content out there when they’re uninspired. It shows up as unnatural, I feel uncomfortable reading a thing I know someone spent writing as they grinded their teeth together, late at night, swearing how the images JUST WON’T CONTRAST RIGHT. We all understand the need to pay bills and put ‘your best food forward’ yet, I’m not doing this to pay bills or build a business. I’m doing this for a joy, a sense of accomplishment, to see my words out there and people deciding if they like it or not. Letting me know they like it… or not.
I LOVED how many of you let me know what you thought of the red dress, those of whom bought it you made my day! It’s so cool to think someone somewhere saw my post and it inspired them to buy the dress. It’s like we’re a little group huddling together, swapping favourite bargain clothes but also chatting away on social issues, how we feel. I adore that people come here for some escapism, like I do with so many blogs.
The time I’ve taken away from the blog was just to get my mindset back to what’s important. I’ve been neglecting stuff I need to sort out and become more organised with my life. You know those lulls of creative lacking? I’m suffering from that more than FOMO over those sunny beach Instagrams.
So I’m writing this to tell you that It’s Ok To Take A Break.
Too Much Positivity can leave you feeling like a “Professional Cynic”. If there was a job as Professor of cynicism, I would have it. These past few weeks have contested to that; sometimes seeing all of the Encouraging, Positive and #GIRLBOSS quotes wouldn’t do anything to me but scoff, transforming into Tracey Beaker with my mind in a constant state of “BOG OFF!” when presented with Etsy quotes.
Sometimes you just need a break to let yourself know it’s okay. It’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to slow down for a while. It’s okay to be frustrated, even if being told it’s okay makes you want to scream. And it’s okay to be confused, because being confused isn’t being a failure, it’s just being confused. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s not always you, because there’s 7.48 billion people on the planet and the Universe can’t focus on you all the time. Sometimes it’s a bad day. Feel it. Accept it. Then just, let it go.
I’m happy to be back writing, I hope you’re happy to see me on your homepage.
Emotions are tricky
solids. They remained as they were, standing tall and unmoving. Like happiness.
I grew up thinking happiness was a state of being that would remain with me.
Maybe you thought so to, growing up happily ever after.
move and change every day. We can’t hold onto an emotion, like happiness,
because we have to experience other emotions like anger or sadness, in order to
feel the value of happiness. The feeling of how lucky we feel a moment of complete undiluted happiness.
you I’ve been reading BECOMING by Laura Jane Williams. And with that, I confess
it’s been a while I’ve sat and read for long periods of time, but with Becoming I can’t stop reading. I have to
put it down every once in a while because I don’t want to stop reading it. It
feels precious, like every thought or
emotion I’ve had since having my heart broken at 16 matters. I didn’t think it mattered. Because I was
young. And then I felt it all again at 17 and 19, with the same boy, and it’s
still the same heartbreak over and over again.
that being heartbroken mattered. That the period of healing mattered, and that it
isn’t always two weeks and a vodka swig away.
write everything I feel with this book because my lost is starting to feel a
lot like my own becoming. (You can get Becoming
here, on Amazon).
can grapple on to, it simply flows and flows through your hands. But it
matters. It all matters, even if this mattering only stays for a day, a week or
even an hour. If you believe it matters, then it does. That’s it.
streamed down my face as I slowly went from cackles to quiet chuckles. It felt
like a moment, because it was a moment. It still is a moment.
I carried with me suddenly became lighter, because it became of importance, of
value. Like, I was no longer even carrying this stuff. It was a piece of me,
like my bones and my heart, not a rucksack on my back.
I think we get caught
up in thinking we both do matter, and don’t matter. It terms of social media,
we want approval or to be seen through likes on a picture. And like, there’s
nothing shameful about it. But we feel this shame. We feel we have to make
ourselves smarter or cooler, when really we’re just existing like other people
are existing and that’s all there is to it. There’s work and
peoples lives and advertising, all penetrating our bubble but like. There’s
more than that. There’s sounding wank on the internet because everyone is a
cynic and looking out to make the first laugh, to get retweets and that’s
funny. It is, it is but also there’s talking. And being honest, being open,
having someone listen and reply to you. And you will sound wanky, even writing
this might strike you as wanky but everyone gets wanky. If you cut out the part
of you that goes on about it, you get to the other stuff. The deeper stuff. The
important life stuff.
in the job description.
that happens to you? That matters. It does. It comes together and it forms you,
moves parts of you like liquid, rearranges stuff to form this new version of
you. Don’t think it doesn’t matter because some people might not listen or
It’s simply the degree in mattering that we should question. It should matter
to us, to the ones we love and who love us in return. But it may not matter to
others, to the strangers or acquaintances but that’s okay. As long as we
believe it matters, then it does.
regularly by the same boy matters. It’s shaped me into who I am and how I see
myself. And since this heartbreak happened during high school (I’m 20) then to
a lot of people it didn’t matter. It was brushed under the carpet, even by me
because I got sick of hearing myself. I got sick of trying to work it all out
when I didn’t yet have the tools to understand.
a reminder; your experiences, emotions and thoughts matter. They do. You may
think they don’t, because at times the world (and the internet) can be a lonely
place. But you’ve got to remember to OWN your stuff. If you believe it matters,
OWN THE THING. Have confidence in it, because it’s important.
finally came to understand my heartbreak matters. I knew, deep down, how much
it had changed me. I was ashamed, because it was a high school romance two
years ago. But it was also my first love. The first time my life became entwined with someone else’s. And I think
I no longer hold guilt talking about this, because it was my experience and
this is my space to talk about things I wish. I don’t have to want Him back to
talk about it, because I don’t.
I just want to work out my own Becoming.
little bit different like do more or make it count, but the heart of it
stands. Make effort, everyday.
effort be repeatedly said, dedicating how someone acts. Hyping us up to do a
piece of work the same one would for a marathon. Getting ‘in the zone’ to
concentrate, making the effort with
something. The important of fitness has grown as Nike tells us ‘just do it’. Now it appears the whole of the Internet is
torn between the contrasting messages of ‘do the THING GO ON’ and ‘I must do
nothing, I am trash, Netflix and Chill’. So we feel we must do one or the
other, as these messages influence our daily lives. But with this ‘effort’ I’ve
started to see something else.
obsolete. The idea of catching a few drinks after work, the conversation which
is fully participated in, watching a movie or hanging out without flicking
through a phone. It’s all just… gone.
relationship department. It’s time to pull myself up, dust myself down and take
a stand. It’s time to be reborn.
unreplied, or you’re making the first move every time. Plans are made, but then
fall through the day before, maybe even a few short hours before. Conversations
are stilted over text, you worry and it all becomes a Thing before you have
time to talk face to face.
rather know when someone calls so we can set aside time for them. We’re
dividing our time, allotting certain minutes for friends and it just feels… too
much. Too controlled, too fake. When did it get like this? When did emojis take
over as our way to express emotion?
and friendships. I’ve become so busy I have neglected them, and with that I say
Enough Is Enough. A friendship needs work, like all relationships do. If it’s
worth it, like you believe it to be, you make do with the work. Liking
Instagrams are great, but they don’t feel the same as a hug.
myself, it shouldn’t be difficult.
your behaviour until months later. Sometimes you forget to text back, but
forgetting that third text back is like hammering a giant ‘I DON’T CARE’ into
your friendships coffin. Death by lack of effort, lack of care.
You feel more at ease, more comfortable. You feel like anything can happen,
like yes you make a coffee date with them and yes you won’t fall behind with
work. It will balance. You’ll be balanced, instead of feeling both overwhelmed
and lonely. You will have your friends, have love, have so many things coming
together you’ll forget why you thought about your life being a part.
them. Stop dismissing it as clichéd, because you’re making their day better by
sending a text. Suggest catching a drink and buy the first round. Talk. Laugh.
And wonder why you waited so long to reach out.
reach out, but there should be no fear between friends. You should feel
comfortable, because they love you the way your mother won’t. And that’s good. Because
there is a lot of different love in the world, but that doesn’t mean one love
is less than the other.
I don’t want to feel pathetic after we speak. That isn’t what friends are for.
That isn’t what friends are for.
I don’t like it. I wrote about self love and being enough, because I am I am
but sometimes I step outside and I feel alone. I can love myself so much I
don’t need a partner, and I don’t. I
haven’t felt drawn to need someone in a long time, that scares me but I need my
friends. No bullshit, no half hearted attempts. If we’re friends, then we
should work together to make sure we feel okay. There shouldn’t be bitchy
comments or feeling inferior.
in reach so why not make that call? Why give up on something simple, because
you’ve decided before not to make the time, to choose your laptop or social
media like you have before?
our lives we can forget the people in it, who make us who we are. Friends and
family are the most defining parts of our lives. Consistent effort is needed,
because you and I, we get lonely sometimes. We long for people who could be
miles away, or people we haven’t seen physically in months.
you suddenly realise it’s been over two hours. Feel good, feel lighter after
speaking to them. Wonder why it took you so long. Make plans to call every
you want to do but you shouldn’t leave people behind. The key to being
effortless? That’s having people you can talk too, because they make everything